Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
