I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
