Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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