do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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