I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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