so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Randomize
