It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
