On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
