I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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