so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
