moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
