Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
