break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
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