That's intense
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
