So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
