3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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