I hate your face
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just want nice things and good sex
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
