You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
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