Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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