now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
