a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
