It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
