one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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