We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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