she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
