i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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