Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
