Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
