He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
