if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
