I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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