new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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