When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Randomize