why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
