Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
COCAINE IS GR8
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
