You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
