hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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