hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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