I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
