I think scott just propositioned me for sex
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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