If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
