she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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