How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
