and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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