Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
