stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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