Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
