Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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