it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
