Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
and she was petting her beer can
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
