this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
