i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
