Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
What drink are we having for lunch?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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