I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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