remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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