U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
