I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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