Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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