Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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