I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
