you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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