I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Randomize
