sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
